Back from the black…



It’s time to get back to blogging.  Where have I been?  In case anyone is still following me from before…and there’s probably five of you left…there’s a simple answer for that.  I wasn’t feeling it.

No really!  If you’re local family or friends you may understand that last year was hard with having a new baby and losing my grandpa, but honestly it was so much more than that.

I wasn’t happy.  Not the I’m having a bummer day that my clothes don’t look right or I’m having a bad hair day unhappy.  I mean that I’m not sure where I fit in and I don’t know what exactly is going on with my life not happy.  There comes a point in life where you just stop “faking it” and just walk away…from a lot.  For the majority of last year I was not present in a lot of things: family…work…marriage…everything.  I was just in a bad place, and when you’re in a bad place…if you’ve ever been in one…you just don’t want to do anything.  It cripples you; whether you realize it or not.

In the past when I haven’t been happy with things I’ve been able to push through and keep the happy facade.  And there were times last year that I thought I was doing pretty good keeping everyone in the dark, keeping up appearances, pretending, but I wasn’t doing so well with it…I think everyone knew that something was going on whether or not they could put their finger on it.

I was angry.

I was sad.

I disengaged from a lot.

So what changed my outlook?

It is so simple: Jesus.

I started praying again…REALLY praying.  I renewed my relationship and reconnected with my God and He delivered me from the darkness.  I’m changing and growing everyday and I look forward to spending time with Him each day.

Some days are better than others.  And I still have a lot to learn, but I’m back on track.  God has done a lot of healing in my life, my marriage, my outlook, and I can honestly say that my connection with God is stronger and more true than it has ever been.  Because of that connection, the relationships in my life are growing and blossoming in ways that I never imagined.  I’m finding true happiness.

God just didn’t deliver me; He gave me greater!

As time goes on I hope to share more about my faith and my journey with you.  There is so much that God wants me to share, but for now I’m saying I’m back…and this time I really am. I’m not going to be serious all the time…after all, so much of life (especially mine) laughs even at the hard stuff.  To quote Carl Lentz, “I will come out of my shell because I have a story to tell.”

Recently during my SOAPing (more on this in a later post) I read Proverbs 20:24…

“The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”  Prov. 20:24 NLT

For the ultimate control freak, that’s me, this is becoming more of a life verse than I could have ever imagined!  Looking back over the last year I am amazed at the healing, deliverance, and joy that has come from it all!

So what can you expect from the blog?  I’m not exactly sure yet…

There will be crafting…

…and family fun…

…and faith…

If you have some ideas or suggestions, feel free to post a comment.  I’m looking forward to where God takes me.

This is the beginning!

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